Achieving Happiness & Joy|
Arrangements We Make with Others
by Frank Young Ph.D.
I have always been totally blown away by the awesome power of understatement.
In chapter 1 of this series, we reviewed the importance of managing expectations regarding arrangements we make with ourselves. We considered factors in goal setting and goal adjustment to maintain maximum motivation and personal development in achieving what we set out to do. In this article we examine how we manage others' expectations about our commitments to them.
These guidelines are principles of integrity, of margin and boundary management, and ultimately, of self-esteem based on a record of following through. While many of the examples are from a career context, these principles of mental fitness apply in family and social relationships as well. From what we know from research about stress management and the processes of Flow and enjoyment, several crucial points are:
1. Resolve to under-commit, and thus, over-deliver
This first point is difficult to maintain in trying times, because when working on a project we often feel we must offer the most value-added in the least amount of time or for the least cost. Thus we are tempted to manage our own margins too tightly, and proceed with projections on an overly optimistic best-case scenario...